I thought I might share how the first few months went with R as a newborn.
Nine months ago I was new to the stay at home dad thing. I thankfully had my wife’s help for the first three months, a welcome experience. It allowed me to ease into being home with R solo full time and really get used to caring for her. It was nice to be without the stress I was afraid I’d have doing it solo, though there was the typical new parent stress of getting used to having a completely dependent little human to care for.
During that time our routine varied. With her being a newborn it was mostly just putting her down for naps, feeding her, and changing diapers. Of course we gave her other attention too, like singing her songs or showing her toys, but sleep, food, and diapers were the primary things.
Those first three months were pretty straightforward. She had good cues for what she needed. A certain sound for food, a certain cry for sleep, and a certain cry for diaper. She was able to let us know what she needed with some facility. She even let us know when she was full of milk with a little pouty face.
At first I was waking up every time she did in the night, as was my wife. It got incredibly tiring for both of us. Finally we found a schedule that worked. We would take turns getting up, my wife breastfeeding and me giving a bottle of formula or pumped breast milk, depending on what we had. It was much less tiring (though I won’t say restful) and we were much happier in general.
Likewise, our daytime routine began to develop. R was pretty much on a schedule that she set herself, thankfully very regular. Milk every three hours, diapers as needed, sleep as needed, but clearly asked for. After my wife went back to work this made it easier to develop a typical routine. I’m very grateful for her help, and to her work for having such a generous leave policy (one month paid, up to a full trimester of leave without using FMLA), although by the standards set by other countries it was still stingy, here in the US it is great.
Another great bonus of the extended time off was that we were able to take R to meet her grandparents and great-grandparents. We spent a week visiting them in the inland PNW and they were so happy. We were happy that she traveled easily – mostly just sleeping except when she was hungry.
So, that was the first three months. Wonderful time with my wife and daughter, spent settling into caring for her and learning more and more about her personality. My wish is that someday every parent gets that experience, moms and dads alike.